Know what you want from dating
Understand what you want
When it comes to dating it’s useful if you have some idea of what it is you are looking for. You might be after a serious relationship that may one day lead to marriage and children, or a long-term relationship without marriage in mind, short-term casual relationships or just someone to have fun with without getting serious. You normally have an idea whether you’re looking for something long term or short term. Before you start meeting people it helps if you have an indication of what it is you’re looking for.
A serious relationship
If it’s a long-term serious relationship you’re after that will lead to marriage and children further down the line, then you need to be realistic and avoid dating those who you know are only out to have a good time short-term. Although one day those out to have a good time may want to settle down, you’ll be playing a risky game if you feel you’re the one to change them or wait for them to change their ways, as this is unlikely to happen any time soon. You need to be realistic and date those who appear to be on the same wavelength as you. Although you never really know someone’s intentions until you start dating him or her, you usually have an idea what they’re like after a short while. There’s no point wasting years of your life dating someone who clearly isn’t after the same things in life as you, it’ll only make you unhappy and cause problems in the future.
A casual relationship
A long-term relationship may be the last thing on your mind at the moment and are simply after some fun or a short-term casual relationship. In this case meeting up with others with the same outlook as you is perfectly acceptable. It only becomes an issue if you start dating someone who is after a serious relationship with you. It isn’t fair to string someone along who you know is after more than you’re willing to give them. Stick to dating people who are after the same thing as you when it comes to dating.
When you first start dating someone try to be as open as you can about what you’re after. It’s not always easy to talk to someone you hardly know about your possible future, but there are ways you can do it without appearing desperate or unkind. Keep it simple by implying you’d like to settle down one day, otherwise you may appear desperate if you seem to have your whole future mapped out. Even if you know what you want in life including wedding plans and children’s names, there’s no need to immediately share these personal hopes and dreams with them. The last thing you want is to scare them off without getting past the first date. Alternatively if you’re only after a short-term casual relationship and aren’t thinking about settling down any time soon, it’s best to be clear from the start and make sure your date is aware you’re not after something serious. Never pretend to want the same thing in life as your date, it will only end in tears.
Put yourself first
If it appears that the person you are dating is after completely different things to you, don’t just go along with it because it’s easier. If they’re just after a casual relationship but you are after something more serious, ask yourself if it’s worth staying with someone who has no intentions of building a future with you. It’s time to put yourself first and look for someone who will make you truly happy and give you the future you are looking for and deserve.