Flirting is a powerful tool that can lead to something more serious, it is the moment that can make or break a potential relationship. Everyone wants to be great at flirting, but in reality, not many people are natural flirters. You may feel that everyone else can flirt except you, but that is not the case. Fortunately, we all have it in us to learn the art of flirting and realise it doesn’t have to be as complicated or intimidating as we imagine. Keep things simple and remember the aim is to let the other person know you’re interested in them by giving out positive signals. It’s all about having fun, feeling good and making your feelings known. Whether you’re hoping to meet someone on a night out, or you’ve arranged a date for the first time in person, these basic flirting tips will help you to get it right.
Smile and look happy
Smiling is one of the most important things you can do when flirting. Looking happy and content emits attractiveness and makes you appear approachable. If you’re on a night out with friends hoping to meet someone, smiling will draw the attention of others and indicate you’re a friendly person having a great time.
Maintaining eye contact while talking to someone shows you’re genuinely interested in what they’re saying, but don’t overdo it by staring, you’ll look creepy. Regular eye contact, along with a smile, will show you’re focused on them. Avoid looking at the ground while flirting, you’re flirting with them, not the ground. If you see someone you fancy from afar, let them catch you looking at them and repeat this several times and smile.
Most importantly, avoid chat up lines. They rarely work and more often than not you’ll end up looking like a fool. Discuss things you like and enjoy, such as hobbies and interests, remembering to keep the conversation positive. Starting a conversion with ‘I think’ and ‘I wonder’ are good sentence starters. Try to avoid discussing what you hate and steer clear of negative topics. Please see our first date conversation article for more advice on what to discuss.
Having good manners and being polite will impress your date and make them feel special. Simple gestures will show you’re kind and thoughtful, increasing your attractiveness.
Being engaged in the conversation and asking questions will show you’re genuinely interested in the other person. Try to remember some details they mention and bring them up later, it will flatter them and they’ll be impressed with your keen interest.
People love to be flattered, so an authentic compliment can go a long way in the flirting game.
Sit or stand up straight, never slouch. Slouching appears lazy and you could look uninterested and distant. Hold your head up high and relax your shoulders to avoid looking tense.
Casually touching the person you’re flirting with on the arm is a playful sign you’re interested in them, but keep it short and be careful not to overdo it. Turning your body towards the other person and tilting your head shows you’re interested in them and are keen to immerse yourself in the situation. Always ensure you use appropriate natural body language and never throw yourself at your date or do anything to make you or them uncomfortable.
Avoid crossing your arms across your chest; you will appear defensive, which is the last thing you want to appear to be while flirting.
Flirting is not the time to carry out your personal habits. Never bite your nails or pick at your skin. If you’re a fidgeter, try hard not to fidget when flirting. Even if you are nervous and uncomfortable, you don’t want your date to know that.
Always be yourself. You want them to know the real you. Talk to them how you would talk to a friend and don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. If you’re trying to be confident, be careful you don’t come across as being arrogant.
Flirting should always be done in moderation. If you overdo it, it will appear forced. Remember to smile, relax and enjoy yourself. Aim not to overthink it, it usually comes naturally when the situation arises anyway. With these flirting tips and our article Flirting Indicators, you will be an expert at flirting in no time.