A first date can be awkward enough as it is, but having to make conversation with your date, and you have to do this, can make it more awkward still. Many people, even seemingly confident people, can become panicked by awkward silences and dips in first date conversation. The key to first date conversation, as with most things in life, is preparation and it is surprising what a difference a little preparation can make to first date conversation.
First Date Conversation – Preparation
Let’s start with the basics. To have a first date conversation you need to have something to talk about, so it is a good idea to keep up-to-date with the latest news and current affairs. You don’t need to know about everything, but it is good to have a general idea of what is going on in the world, and if you can find a funny news story, even better. News website Ananova has a ‘Quirkies’ section which is worth checking out. It is also worth brushing up on celebrity gossip as that can also be a good ice breaker.
It is worth preparing 4 or 5 topics that you can draw on if you need to for your first date conversation. Note them down on paper and keep them handy, then if the conversation on your first date begins to dry up you will have something to turn to. You probably will not even need the note, but having it there is good just in case your mind goes blank. Preparing conversation can also be very useful when it comes to chatting someone up, so the next time you’re out and about and see someone you would like to get to know, why not try out some of your prepared conversations.
First Date Conversation – Planning
Having a plan for your first date conversation might sound a little crazy, but it will help give you some confidence. Your first date conversation plan should be a loose idea of what you want to talk about and at what points during your first date. You should prepare for the beginning, middle and end of the first date. You may never actually even need the plan as everything might flow naturally, but again, prepare just in case.
The beginning of a first date can make the date or break the date, so go easy. Don’t rush straight in with a joke or the funny news story we spoke about earlier. Ease into the conversation; ask your date about their journey to the date or their job. If you are at a restaurant, which is always a good idea for a first date, talk about the menu, food and wine. Maybe ask your date what they fancy from the menu.
The middle of the first date is very important, you don’t want to let the conversation dip and end up with uncomfortable silences and long pauses. Ask your date about themselves, what they like to do in their spare time or if they have travelled and where they have been. Listen with genuine interest and expand on what they say. Ask some follow-up questions and pay real interest. If the conversation is beginning to waver then this might be a good time to tell them about the funny news story you saw.
The end of the first date is the time if you want to, to secure a second date. You could do this by changing the subject to talk about films and then ask if there is anything they want to see at the cinema at the moment. Say that you were thinking of going to see that film next week and suggest that you might go together. You can use this sort of approach of other things as well, not just films. The most important thing is to secure a second date.
First Date Conversation – Main tips
Our top tips for first date conversation are:
- Be prepared.
- Have several topics ready to talk about if required.
- Keep up-to-date with news, current affairs and celebrity gossip.
- A funny piece of news or information can help lighten the mood and make you both relaxed.
- Ask your date questions, listen to replies with genuine interest and expand on answers with follow up questions.
- Be positive.
- Enjoy yourself.
First Date Resources
Take a look at some of the additional first date advice resources we have available.
- Check out our first date advice.
- Find the perfect place to go with first date ideas.
- Use our top ten first date tips as a quick first date reference.