How to Break Up with Someone Kindly
Breaking up with someone is never a pleasant job, however there are things you can do to make it slightly more bearable. You can't always predict the reaction you might get from your partner, so it's best to be prepared with answers for them and staying strong, as once you have said your piece, there is no going back. Below we have outlined things you should and shouldn't do when breaking up with someone.
Things you should never do when breaking up
- Never break up by ignoring or disappearing on your partner. They will always wonder what happened, or possibly not even get the message that things are over between you.
- Don't expect to end your relationship and walk away as soon as you have said what you had to say. At least have the respect to listen to your ex partner and talk things through with them.
- Avoid using lame excuses to break up. They will sound pathetic and make you look silly, especially if there is absolutely no truth to what you are saying.
- Never be unpleasant. It might seem easier for you to break up by being rude or by starting a fight with them, but it won't help the situation. You will be upsetting them as it is, so being rude on top of that is unnecessary.
- Don't change your mind about ending the relationship. You might feel guilty about your decision, but there is no point continuing in a relationship you aren't happy in. Staying with someone just to make them happy isn't healthy for you and in the long run it will cause more harm than good.
- Don't break up in a public place. The last thing you want is to humiliate your partner in public. Also you don't know how they will react and it could be you that feels humiliated.
- Try to avoid breaking up on special occasions such as their birthday, an anniversary or holidays.
Things you should always do when breaking up
- Always break up in person. It's the least you can do when it's your decision to end a relationship.
- Try to be as honest as possible about why you want to break up. No one is a mind reader so unless you explain your partner will be left wondering what happened.
- Always give your partner the opportunity to have their say and listen to them, no matter how hard it is to hear. You have had your say, so they deserve to have theirs.
- Be prepared to answer any questions they might fire at you. You might have the situation sorted in your head, but they certainly won't, and answers will help them do that.
- Always stick to your decision to break up. You will only end up confused and confuse your partner if you start to change your mind. Your relationship will never be the same if you change your mind.
- Always end your relationship before starting a new one with someone else.