Things You Should Never Say on a First Date
On a first date you want to impress the person you’re with and be on your best behaviour, but you should still be the genuine you and not pretend to be someone you’re not. Conversation is an area many worry about on a first date and you can find yourself saying things you wouldn’t normally say, while in your head wondering why on earth you just said it.
Although you may find yourself worrying about what to talk about on your date, it’s just as important to consider what not to say. You can be forgiven for innocently saying something silly or nervously messing up your words, but genuinely saying something that can cause concern is more than likely to result in an unsuccessful date.
Here are some classic first date quotes you should avoid:
“You remind me of my mum/dad”
It may seem like you’re saying something flattering to your date, but to them it’ll come across as creepy. Although you mean it in a kind way, they’ll be left thinking that you want to date your parent, or you want to mould them to be more like your mum or dad, or that you’ll never grow up. Either way, it’s not perceived as a compliment.
“I plan to get married within the next few years and have children the year after”
It’s great to have plans and dreams, but exposing them on a first date is not the time, unless you wish to scare your date away. You’ll give the impression that you’re desperate to meet someone simply to ensure your visions occur to your planned time line. It’s best to keep these personal desires to yourself for the time being.
“Why did you split up from your ex?”
By asking this you could be asking for trouble as you may get answers you’re not happy with, therefore ruining any good impression they may be making so far. Leave questions about their ex’s for a future conversation when you know each other better.
“This place is rubbish”
Insulting the date venue or staff, for example a waiter at a restaurant, will show rudeness and is a definite turn-off. Even if you are kind to your date, you will be showing another side to you, which isn’t so attractive.
“I hate my ex”
Mentioning your ex, even in a negative way, proves they’re still in your thoughts and it’s likely you still have feelings of some sort for them, whether you admit it or not. Ex talk is a big no-no for a first date and will only prove you’re not emotionally available yet.
“Your place or mine"
Leave some mystery and don’t rush into anything physical. Even if there is volumes of attraction there, leave them wanting more otherwise you could give off the wrong impression.
“How many people have you slept with?”
As curious as you may be, never ask this on a first date. If the date is successful there’ll be plenty of time to find out this information.
“How much money do you earn?”
Money is a private subject. Don’t make your date uncomfortable by asking them about their finances. They’ll either think you’re a gold digger or extremely nosey. Instead of asking about money, why not ask about their job instead.
“You’re just like my ex”
It’s possible there’ll be some similarities, but never openly compare and tell your date they remind you of your ex. Your date will naturally feel uncomfortable and assume a relationship won’t work seeing as it didn’t work out with your ex.
“I’m just after some fun for now”
No one is saying a first date has to lead to a serious relationship and by saying you’re only after some fun won’t give off a good impression. It’ll make your date feel insignificant and they’ll assume you’re only after something physical and you’re not fussed with whom.
“I hate my job”
As true as it may be, your date doesn’t want to hear you moaning about your job throughout your first date. Being negative can have a big impact on how you are perceived and how successful the first date is. By being optimistic you give off positive vibes resulting in making a great impression and a successful first date.
“I’m lonely and miserable”
Unless you want to appear desperate, don’t mention you’re lonely and miserable. Even if you are, your date doesn’t need to know. You want them to date you because they want to, not because they feel sorry for you. Appearing miserable isn’t an attractive feature and it’ll probably send your date running in the opposite direction.
“Lets go on another date tomorrow”
Don’t appear too keen. While they may feel flattered that you want to see them again so quickly, you don’t want to be too intense. Allow a breathing period between dates to avoid rushing things.
“I know what names I’d call my future children”
It’s far too soon to be talking about children’s names you’ve picked out. This is sure to get alarm bells ringing in your date’s head. Save this private information for further down the line.