How to Ease First Date Nerves and Worries
Most people become extremely nervous before a first date and it’s perfectly normal. Feeling worried, nervous, and excitement are all part of the dating experience. Regardless of how many dates you’ve been on, or what stage you’re at in your life, it’s normal to be worried and nervous about a first date. Keep in mind that your date is probably feeling nervous too.
It’s important that you don’t allow your nerves to ruin the date for you. You want to be able to enjoy yourself and get to know each other, instead of wishing the time away and being relieved once the date comes to an end. While it’s acceptable to appear a little anxious, you don’t want to come across as a complete nervous wreck. Below are some easy steps you can take that will help to reduce your nervousness on a first date.
- Taking deep breaths can work wonders to relax you. Even if you feel too nervous to control your breathing properly, sit down quietly before your date and really concentrate on your breathing. Ignore everything around you and take a few minutes to breath deeply. If you feel your anxious feelings coming back, sit down and concentrate on your breathing once more. It’s amazing how calm breathing deeply can make you feel. This is something you can repeat whilst on your date.
- If you have time before your date, take a warm relaxing bath or shower and forget about your feelings. This will help you unwind and forget about those little things causing you to feel nervous.
- If a relaxing bath or deep breathing doesn’t seem to help you, try talking to someone close to you. Phone a friend or family member who will offer their support and talk through any concerns you have. They’ll make you feel like your normal self again. You could even invite them round to be with you while you prepare for your date. Having someone remind you of your positive points and tell you why your date is lucky to be going out with you can do wonders to boost your confidence.
- Play your favourite music while getting ready for your date. Music is great at lifting your spirits. Sing your nerves away and leave for your date feeling great.
- It can sometimes help if you write down why you’re nervous and what worries you have about your first date. When you read back what you’ve written, it can really put things into perspective. It could make you realise that you’re feeling nervous about little things that shouldn’t even be an issue and make you recognise that you’ve nothing to worry about.
- Make sure your date is planned for somewhere you will enjoy otherwise you will worry unnecessarily. By going somewhere you won’t feel comfortable, such as ice-skating or to a busy bar, you will put extra pressure on yourself and worry about something that shouldn’t even be an issue. Make your date relaxing and meet for a coffee or go for a casual meal, which will hopefully reduce your nervousness.
- If you’re worried you’ll run out of things to say on your date, you could prepare some conversation topics to discuss or questions to ask. Even if you have to write them down on paper and have it in your pocket or bag, you can refer to it if needed. First date conversation is a big worry for many, so be prepared to ensure conversation doesn’t dry up. If you’re a quiet person, you could always arrange a date where conversation isn’t the main focus, such as going to the cinema.
- Always give yourself plenty of time to arrive for your date. Being late will not help your nerves. Allow yourself time to arrive to where you’re meeting your date and get settled into your surroundings. Arriving after your date may cause you to feel particularly nervous, whereas already being at the location will give you time to relax before your date arrives.
If you appear nervous throughout your date, you will have trouble connecting with them, plus you may appear distant and uninterested in getting to know them. By reducing your nerves you are increasing your chances of the date being successful. It’s unlikely that you’ll free yourself from feeling nervous altogether, but by carrying out some of the above tips, you’ll hopefully reduce your nerves and worries to a point where you can relax and enjoy dating, allowing your date to see you at your best.