- You associate dating, love and relationships with the hurtfulness and difficult times you have experienced with past relationships. This negative attitude towards relationships will be apparent to potential partners.
- You feel desperate to settle down, get married and start a family. You may have particular ages in mind for events in your life, such as your wedding and having children, but it isn’t healthy to think about this all the time. You risk scaring away potential partners, even if you feel you are running out of time.
- You have a tendency to date people who are incompatible with you and are unable to meet your emotional requirements. This results in endless unsuccessful dates.
- You believe that finding a partner is the answer to everything and will sort out all your problems and issues with yourself and life. This isn’t the case. This puts a lot of pressure on a new relationship and can result in it failing.
You may have just one or even all of the above habits, but regardless of how many you have you can change the way you feel and act towards dating, love and relationships. These four simple steps will help you to overcome your bad dating habits and attitudes;
Step 1 – Acknowledgement
It’s vital that you learn to acknowledge your feelings towards dating. If you are waiting for your knight in shining armour to turn up or feel like there is no one out there for you, then maybe these beliefs are preventing you from finding a partner. You need to relieve yourself from these beliefs such as the ones mentioned here; otherwise, you will be left waiting for a relationship for a long time. You need to be open-minded, and acknowledging your feelings and habits is the first step.
Step 2 – Identify what is holding you back
Being stuck in the past and always comparing new relationships with past ones is extremely destructive in the dating world. You need to make yourself aware of the negative feelings and thoughts that you carry around with you about your previous dating experiences, whether it is anger, painful memories or difficult times. You may also hold onto negative feelings and thoughts on other areas of your life, and not just dating. The whole time you carry these emotions around with you, you are actually doing yourself harm by possibly putting off potential partners. You need to look towards the future and not dwell on the past.
Step 3 – Let go of the past
Letting go of your thoughts and feelings from the past is easier said than done. It’s important to remember that each new partner you meet are unique and not your ex, so don’t treat them like they are, otherwise, you risk scaring away someone who could have been that special person in your life. You must allow yourself to let go of your negative thoughts and try to imagine your life how you would like it. You have a greater chance of getting your perfect life if you visualise it and believe it could happen. Positive thinking goes a long way, especially in the dating world. It’s not suggested that you regret your past experiences but learn from them. Bitterness and anger towards ex-partners will only eat you up inside, and it is you that will suffer. Forget about the bad times, and try to concentrate on the good times, which in time will help you think positively about life and relationships.
Step 4 – Move on and enjoy life
It will take time to learn how to let go of negative thoughts towards dating and relationships, but the main aim here is to have a positive outlook, enjoy life and be happy. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t find your perfect partner today, next week, or even next year; the main thing is that you have a great time finding them and make sure you enjoy every single minute of it. By just changing one area in your life you are unhappy with, such as your job or losing weight, then that will give you the boost you need to change another area. Once you are happy and think positively towards dating, you will definitely appear attractive to others leading to many successful dates, and possibly even find your perfect partner.
If you are wondering what other reasons may be causing you to be single, please see our article Dating Don’ts for some tips on what you shouldn’t do when dating.