How to tell if your date is married

Whether you are dating someone, or getting to know them via an online dating website, often something happens that causes you to believe they could be married. It is sometimes just a feeling you have, but there are other signs that can arouse your suspicions. Unfortunately married people, both men and women, are frequent users of dating websites and dating in general. There are websites designed specifically for married people, so obviously they will be on there, but when you use a website for unattached individuals looking to find someone, the last thing you want is to come across people who are already attached as the relationship you could have with them will be based on lies or be very limited.

Ways to tell if your date is married

Here we have outlined the behaviour your date, or potential date, may use to hide the fact they are married and don't wish to be caught out:

Wedding ring mark

One of the most obvious signs that your date is married is a wedding ring. Usually they will take it off but often a mark is left on their finger, so make sure you have a good look when possible.

Photos in their wallet

If you happen to have the opportunity to see inside your date's wallet, then do, but don't take it and look. Only look when they have it open and in your view. If you see a photo of a possible wife/husband and maybe children, then your date could be married.

Mobile phone ringing on your date

If their phone rings several times or if they rush off to answer it in private then it's possible it could be their other half on the phone. If the date is that important to them then you would be getting their full attention.

Appearing uncomfortable when family is mentioned

This is when your date will either try to change the subject or lie about their family. They may even pass the question back onto you hoping you won't notice. If they appear nervous at this point then it could be because they have a lot to hide.

They won't meet you at local places

You might notice that they always arrange to meet you far away from their home town. This is to ensure they don't see anyone they know when out on a date with you, in case it gets back to their family and friends.

They always go to your place

Does your date always go to your place and you never see where they live? That could be because they have a wife/husband at home and even children.

Do they have a habit of saying "we" rather then "I"?

They might not even notice doing this as it's natural for them to say. If they keep saying it, ask then who "we" actually is.

You never see them at special celebrations

Your date's birthday, Christmas, Easter, Valentine's Day and other celebrations are times to spend with loved ones. If your date always has an excuse not to spend a special celebration with you, then it's a sign they are spending it with their husband or wife.

They may give you a false name

If they do give you a full name then there's a chance it could be fake. Alternatively they might only ever tell you their first name initially. You might notice they don't always respond quickly to the name they gave you.

They only give you their mobile number, not a home phone number

This is to make sure you never have the opportunity to speak to their husband or wife at home. Try asking for a home phone number and listen to their excuse why you can't have it. You might notice that they only answer their mobile at odd hours, such as late at night when partner would be asleep, or they might even insist on always phoning you.

They will only have a set time frame to be with you

Does your date constantly look at their watch and seem to be in a rush to end the date? This could be because they are fitting you in whenever they can so their partner doesn't become suspicious.

You never meet any of their friends

If you have been dating someone for a while and you haven't met any of their friends, then it's possible that it's deliberate. If their friends know about you then it's possible your existence could get back to their partner.

Ways to tell if your date is married on a dating website

Here are some behaviours a married person may carry out when using an online dating service:

They will not upload a photo

Someone who wants to hide the fact they are on a dating website will not usually upload a photo and they may make excuses why they haven't uploaded one. Having said that some may upload a bad quality photo where they can't clearly be seen.

They will avoid answering personal questions

When you ask someone a personal question face to face it can be easier to change the subject or cause a distraction, but when you ask a question through a messaging system, you usually expect a reply to your question. Someone who is married may choose to ignore answering your personal question regardless of how many times you ask it. Alternatively some will simply lie and tell you what they believe you want to hear.

They won't give you their phone number

They might want to keep communication online or arrange future dates when you see them in person.

There will be no consistency in sending you messages

They will only send you messages when their partner isn't watching. Try asking if they will be online the same time as you so you can chat and see what their excuse is for not being flexible.

They never actually give you a full name

hey might insist in using their username from the website. Either that or they will only give you a first name or perhaps a false name.

Trust your instincts

Usually something happens, such as one or more of the above, to cause you to suspect your date is married. You should always trust your instincts, as you are usually right. Just one or two of the above signs doesn't necessarily mean your date is married; there could be a perfectly good reason. However, if you feel something just isn't right and you don't feel like you don't have your date's full attention, then it's possible your date is married. Never ignore your feelings; the last thing you want is to waste time seeing someone who will never be available to you as you risk getting hurt and hurting others.

Additional Resources