Dating Someone Insecure
Being insecure usually stems from heartbreak in the past. It can result in destructive and irrational behaviour that isn’t easily controlled. Dating someone with insecurities might be challenging at times, but it’s important to remember it’s not your fault. There are ways you can help them face their insecurities and hopefully in time they’ll learn to reduce these feelings.
Being honest from the start will enable you to have in depth conversations further down the line. If they know about your past and you know about theirs, they won’t always be wondering about your past and they’ll get comfort from knowing you’ve been open and honest with them. Also, avoid lies completely. Even small lies, such as covering up a surprise for them, can lead to an overactive imagination and you might find yourself being falsely accused of something. If they find out you’ve lied about one thing, they’ll wonder what else you’re lying about and soon you’ll be accused of all sorts.
Complimenting your partner is a simple but effective way to make them feel special. Whether you compliment them on their appearance, actions, attitude, etc.; it will help to boost their confidence. If you have a positive attitude, it should hopefully result in your partner being more positive. However, over-complimenting will have a negative impact and they’ll believe you feel forced to say complimentary things, therefore its important to find a balance.
Respect your partner by keeping their insecure feelings to yourself. Don’t broadcast this information to others as it will only cause upset to your partner and could make matters worse.
Don’t create more problems
The last thing you want is to do is make the person you’re dating feel even more insecure by adding to their problems. It’s likely they’re feeling a little vulnerable and if an argument were to occur it could result in you saying criticising things you don’t really mean, but by that time the damage is done and they’ll feel even worse.
You can help your date by being caring, loving and listen to them. Talking things through can sometimes help an insecure person feel a little better. In time they’ll learn that they can truly depend on you. With listening to their feelings, it will hopefully help you to understand what they’re going through. By understanding, it will help you to work with them to have a successful relationship.
Good communication is a must. If you’ve made plans to go out with friends and you see that your partner is uneasy about that, talk to them. Calmly mention the vibe you’re picking up and gently approach the reasons why. If you’ve been open and honest from the start of your relationship, you should be able to reassure them. If you end up losing your temper with them, situations can get out of control.
Do something nice
Doing something nice for your date is always appreciated. An act of kindness can mean a lot, especially if the person you’re doing it for is insecure. It’s even more special when you do something nice for no particular reason and when they’re not expecting it. However, be careful if you’re planning something in secret and they become aware of your secretive behaviour; they might just jump to the wrong conclusion. The last thing you want is to be falsely accused of something, when in fact you’re being thoughtful.
Introduce to family and friends
By introducing your date to family and friends you’re showing that you’re together and it’ll hopefully make your date feel welcome and secure in your life. By not introducing them to your friends and family, your partner could end up feeling unimportant and paranoid, making them feel even worse.
Don’t flirt with others
You might naturally be a flirtatious person and mean no harm by it, but when you flirt with others in front of your date, it won’t do anything to help with their insecurity. To you it will seem natural and you’re just being nice, but to them it will seem a big deal and their confidence will be affected. This doesn’t mean you have to change your personality, just hold back a little in certain situations.
Decide if you can handle their insecurity
You’ll know early on if the person you are dating has insecurities, unless they’re a very good actor or actress. You must decide if you can handle their issues and are willing to make a go of things, otherwise you could become unhappy dating them and end up making their insecurity worse. It’s better to stop seeing them before you get in too deep and create more issues.
Over time and in a happy relationship, your partner will feel more secure and appear more self-confident. As long as you are aware of their insecurities and openly talk about it, there’s no reason why you can’t have a normal relationship.