Dating on the Rebound

What is dating on the rebound?

When someone starts a new relationship immediately after their previous relationship ends, without giving themselves time to recover from the break up, this is known as dating on the rebound. During this undefined period after the break up you are filled with a mixture of emotions including anger, sadness, denial, bitterness and shock.

Why do people date on the rebound?

After a break up you aren’t thinking straight and simply want to fill that gap in your life. Starting a new relationship is a distraction from reality and is often short lived. It may help to ease the pain of a break up and offer comfort, companionship and attention, but it is usually temporary and can cause even more heartache.

Is dating on the rebound a good idea?

Rebound dating may help you in the short term, but more often than not it will leave you feeling used, guilty, unhappy and feeling no better than when your previous relationship ended. They can in fact slow down your recovery period from your break up and put you in a situation you don’t want to be in.

How will it affect my rebound partner?

Your new partner may not even be aware you are dating them on the rebound, unless they are fully aware of your recent break up. Once you start accepting your break up and feel yourself moving on from it, you might feel ready to let go of your rebound partner too. To you it might have been a relationship to fill the void in your life, but to your partner it could have been serious. You will leave them feeling used and abandoned. Alternatively if they were aware that you were dating them on the rebound, then they could be using you and taking advantage of your vulnerable state.

Regain your independence

Instead of jumping straight into another relationship, you need to take time out to deal with your issues and find the real you again. You will find yourself feeling lonely at times, but it’s during this time you can clearly think things through and finally come to terms with the break up. By working through your emotions you are heading towards feeling ready to date again. It won’t happen over night, but it will happen.

Spend time with friends

Instead of distracting yourself with a new partner, surround yourself with friends and family when you’re feeling really low. They can help you work through your emotions without you being distracted or in denial about your break up.

Other factors

It’s not just you that is affected by rebound dating. The person you choose to date is very much affected, plus any children either of you may have. Your new partner might be looking to have a serious relationship with you and could get hurt when they find out you were using them to make yourself feel better. Children seeing their parents partners change regularly can be confusing for them. Children too need time to get used to your ex not being around any more, it’s not just you to think about. When an adult leaves a child’s life it can leave them feeling insecure and if you start dating someone new so soon it can be very difficult for the child. When you have children and you want to start dating again, you must think carefully about how your child could react.

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