Dating During Pregnancy
Is it acceptable to date while pregnant?
It is perfectly normal and acceptable to date while pregnant. During pregnancy dating is the last thing on some women’s mind, while others have a strong urge to date. Many see dating while pregnant as being no different to dating with children, but others consider it wrong to become close and even intimate with someone new while carrying someone else’s baby. If dating while pregnant feels right to you, then there is no reason why you couldn’t and shouldn’t have a perfectly happy dating experience or relationship.
Will others judge me?
There are no rules to say you shouldn’t date while pregnant. It is an individual choice. Others may judge you, but you are not doing anything wrong, and it is certainly nothing to be embarrassed about. Your life still has to continue, so if you decide to date while pregnant, don’t feel guilty about putting your needs first.
Finding a date
It can be difficult to find a date at the best of times and it is no exception being pregnant. Some men run a mile when they see a pregnant woman as they assume they will end up looking after the baby with you, but others are fascinated and find pregnancy highly attractive. If you start to date someone during the first trimester it is easy and sometimes tempting to hide your pregnancy, but remember that over time your expanding stomach won’t be so easy to hide, so it is best to be truthful about being pregnant.
Tell your date you are pregnant
It is very important that you are honest to your date from the start that you are pregnant. It may be a shock to them, but the situation could go either way; your date may not even see it as an issue and will want to continue dating you anyway, but there is a chance they might not want to take things any further, which is their personal choice. As long as you are open and honest from the start, you stand a greater chance of a relationship developing. It is a good way of identifying the good dates from the bad. If they run a mile once you tell them, then they are definitely not worth wasting any more time over. If you choose to hide your pregnancy, then there is going to be heartache further down the line when your date discovers the truth. You risk ruining a perfectly healthy relationship not to mention putting yourself under unnecessary stress, which is the last thing you need during pregnancy.
Are they a suitable date?
It is important that you date someone who you are attracted to and not simply someone you think would be good at helping you raise a baby, which isn’t fair on them. A good way to discover if they don’t mind the fact that you are pregnant is to talk about the baby. If they are willing to listen and discuss the baby with you, then this shows they have accepted the situation. However, if they change the subject every time you mention your baby, then this is a clear sign that they aren’t interested. Don’t settle for someone because they are willing to take on you and your baby. However tempting this offer may sound, you must be realistic and visualise how you see your future together. It is important that you have a connection and strong feelings towards them, which is vital for any relationship.
Should I be looking for a partner to help me raise my baby?
Only you know what you are looking for in a date. Baby or no baby, people date for a number of reasons, one of the main ones being to find a life time partner, and it is no different when pregnant. It is natural to look for father qualities in a man, maybe a vast number of women do this without even realising. Initially you must put your needs first. It isn’t fair to look for a partner simply to help you raise a child; you need to look for a partner who you are attracted to and picture yourself being with. Remember that you are the mother of the baby, who will be your responsibility. It isn’t a good idea to allow your new date to act as another parent, especially if you have only been dating them for a short time. You need to make sure you can trust them before you even consider letting them care for your baby with you. Trust is vital for a relationship, and even more so when a baby is involved.
Will they be there for me?
You need to discuss your future plans with your date before your baby is born. Don’t assume they will stick around once your baby is born; you need to talk about this beforehand. A date could be more than willing to support you during pregnancy, but not so willing once the baby arrives. This is why you must put yourself first; your date might not always be there for you, but your baby will, and you need to be strong to look after them, and not worry about what your date is up to. The last thing you want is to have your partner being jealous of your new baby and time you spend together.
If your date supported you throughout your pregnancy and after, it is important that you try and make time for them, and yourself, although this is easier said than done with a young baby about. Alternatively your date must be aware that you will need time to bond with your baby and adapt to being a mother, therefore occasionally they will need to give you time alone with your new baby. It is a good idea to make definite plans, for example once a week, for you and your date to have some time alone together. Have a willing relative or good friend look after your baby for you while you enjoy having quality time with your partner. It is all about finding a happy balance between motherhood and dating.