Common Online Dating Mistakes

Without realising it, your own behaviour could be the reason why you’re not having much success with online dating. Before being quick to blame other members or the online dating website you’re using, think carefully about your own actions and be prepared to make changes to improve your chances with online dating. Here we have listed 14 of the most common online dating mistakes both men and women make.

Don’t get your hopes up

It’s hard not to get your hopes up when you initially join an online dating site, but assuming once you’re a member you’ll be inundated with interest will only set you up for disappointment. Feel positive about taking the step to join an online dating site and take one day at a time.

Don’t upload an unrealistic photo

Without a profile picture you’re lowering your chances of other members wanting to check you out so don’t wonder why you’re not receiving any interest if you’ve no image. When choosing your profile photo make sure it’s realistic and shows the genuine you. Avoid fancy makeover or passport photos, old photos or pictures of you appearing drunk or with another person, which could make you appear unavailable to those viewing your profile. Also never upload photos with nudity; you won’t impress anyone and you’ll probably be removed from the website. Every so often change your main profile image. People viewing your profile look firstly at your photo, so by changing your picture could increase chances of being contacted as different pictures appeal to different people. For more photo advice, please see our article ‘Choosing the Right Online Dating Profile Picture’.

Don’t choose a boring Username

Your username needs to be unique to you and make you sound fun and interesting. After all, it will be the name you’ll be known as for a while. Don’t make it too long or unpronounceable.

Avoid writing a dreary same-as-all-the rest profile

Try to make yourself sound interesting and an upbeat positive person. If you have any hobbies, mention them; you never know who else may have the same interests, plus it gives others a topic to discuss with you. Please see our articles ‘How to write an online dating profile’ and ‘What not to put in your online dating profile’ for advice on writing the perfect online dating profile.

Don’t make spelling or grammar mistakes

Having numerous spelling and grammar mistakes in your profile will instantly put people off. Once you write your profile, take time to read it through and correct any mistakes before uploading it. The same goes for writing messages to other members.

Don’t sound bitter

Sounding bitter in your profile text will certainly do you no favours. With such a negative attitude people will wonder why you’re even bothering with online dating. Even just listing qualities you don’t like in a person will make you sound negative. Try to mention things you do like rather than things you don’t like.

Don’t change who you are

It’s easy to pretend to be someone you’re not when writing your profile text or messages. You might tell people what you think they want to hear to appear more appealing, but in the long run you could just be getting yourself into an awkward situation should you arrange to meet in person. If you’re generally quite shy, don’t tell others you’re outgoing. Stay true to who you are and don’t change just to please others.

Read profiles properly

Take the time to read profiles properly. Don’t just contact someone or dismiss someone without taking the time to read what they’ve written. If you notice you’re not in their criteria, don’t go through the embarrassment of contacting them only to be let down. Respect their choices and simply move on to the next profile. By not reading their profile text properly you risk asking them questions they have already given the answer to in their profile, which will show you haven’t bothered to read it. Save yourself any humiliation and wasted time and read profiles properly.

Don’t limit your search too much

It’s good to know what you want in a partner, but there’s a fine line between knowing what you want and being too fussy. Don’t immediately disregard someone if they don’t match all of the things you’re looking for. If their eyes or hair colour aren’t exactly what you’re after, give them a chance; you might like what you find. You’ll only be limiting your search results way too much by being very picky.

Don’t assume paid online dating sites will bring you more success

Many people believe paid online dating sites will be more successful for them, but this isn’t the case. There are plenty of free online dating websites with genuine people looking for love. No dating website can guarantee you’ll find your perfect match so why waste money on a service you can get for free.

Don’t wait to be contacted

You can’t expect to be bombarded with messages as soon as you upload your profile. You need to make an effort and get things moving along. By all means have a browse before sending any messages, but don’t leave it too long. Make the first move and send some messages.

Don’t get disheartened

Online dating isn’t an instant fix to your love life. You need to work at it, be patient and be realistic. If someone doesn’t reply don’t get hung up over it. Regardless of their reason, don’t allow yourself to become discouraged and don’t send them any more messages asking why they didn’t reply; you’ll appear obsessed. Just move on and focus on sending positive messages to other people.

Never give personal information

Your profile should never contain personal information. From a safety aspect this is a must. By displaying details such as your phone number or email address, you’re putting yourself in a position of being contacted by unwanted people any time of the day. Please see our article ‘Online Dating Safety Advice’.

Don’t send the same message to everyone

Sending a generic message to everyone you’ve chosen to contact isn’t advisable. Try to make each message unique and personal to the person you’re contacting. This will show you’re generally interested in them and have taken the time to read their profile. Many people ignore obvious generic messages as it shows the sender couldn’t be bothered to write a personal message.

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