st3amy - What does a man need to do ?!

I am a tall, dark and fit IT professional who is extrovert, down-to-earth, jovial, bit romantic/bit modern, house-trained, not afraid of the word 'feminist', loves staying in and also going out to gigs/dancefloor/restaurants/cinema. I dance well, look good, dress suitably, talk decent & know my manners.
I am a British Indian dad who's separated...but surely thats not uncommon in modern life !
Looks like there is no place for good old-fashioned meeting up, having a decent conversation and take things from there. Instead you've got to get drunk uncontrollably, dance robotically, snog like a sex-deprived person and take her to bed - at the very FIRST date which usually is a dark and loud dancing floor on a Saturday night. Nothing against this approach - but surely you've got to be flexible, especially when majority of men after this don't last long in the relationship (I have been told).
So please email me some pearls of modern-day wisdom.
....And I thought I was modern and knew my way !