menthol - is my soul mate out there ?
:Hope you like a good read lol:
Easy going laid back genuine bloke looking for mrs right if there is such a thing, dont find it easy talking about myself on this as you need to meet the person to know them and no amount of writing can get who you are across , moved back to Norwich after 3 years away and making a fresh start, patience and trust are 2 of the important things in my life and what i look for in a woman i also have 2 children which i dont live with but adore and like to spend time with whenever i can so its important that you understand this !, not just looking for a date ( but gotta start somwhere lol ) im looking for my soul mate! anything you want know just ask
P.s it says location is Dereham on my profile but thats temp untill i find a place in Norwich :)
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Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl
said, 'NO!'
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
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I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to diseases.
Dear Penis, after assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:
1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You work in short spurts and fall asleep after each brief work period.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take the initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire long before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
11. You have constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
Management
PLUS: 5 reasons not to be a penis...
1. You're bald your whole life.
2. You have a hole in your head.
3. Your neighbors are nuts.
4. The guy behind you is an ass hole and......
5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint
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:Note: had a few mails saying maybe my joke about a penis puts women off, sorry but its a joke and i have a sence of humor if you dont like it then dont contact me its that simple ! p.s FYI it was a woman who sent me that joke.
-------!!!------- Put this on ur
-------!!!------- page if you
---!!!!!!!!!!!--- know someone in the
-------!!!------- armed forces or to
-------!!!------- show your support
-------!!!------- and respect to all
-------!!!------- our troops out there
:Update: dunno what im doing wrong but send friendly mails out and dont get any replies ? i been reading up on this dating lark but it seems to me you have to be false to get anywhere and i just wanna be me not somthing everyone else expects, im genuine,sence of humor,polite and respectfull to name but a few traits and i dont think im a hunk but i aint ugly either so what the hell am i doing wrong ? lol maybe one of you girls could give me some tips ?and if i browse your profile and dont mail you its because i given up mailing people because hardly anyone relies so drop me a mail and say "Hi" :D
